The Wizard's . . . Best Friend
The White Males Over 50
The Wizard's Best Friend . . .
As a wizard ... and a white male over 50 myself, I am obviously very smart and busy myself. :-)
So ... I have asked my best friend Mark Boersma to share some insights into this group of people. Now ... Mark is also a white male over 50 so don't get upset at him for things shared here.
For any of you who know Mark personally, he's not the sharpest tool in the tool shed ... not the brightest bulb so to speak. Again, do not get upset at him as he is just taking what I share with him and passing it along.
If you know Mark ... well ... some would say ... well ... let's not get into everything that Mark would say. :-) Anyway ... if you would like to take over Mark's role in this page email me and we'll make that happen.
Understanding ...
The White Male over 50 ... is maybe the most misunderstood person in the world. Shoot ... they don't even understand themselves most of the time.
Now ... if you do not like something that is shared in the following please again DO NOT get upset with Mark. He is the messenger. Do not shoot the messenger!
Yes ... you can email me, The Wizard at thewizardslife55@gmail.com if you have issues with anything Mark shares and/or if you would like to share (replace Mark) for sure let me know.
Question ... "Do white males over 50 often act like three year old girls who are putsy?"
The answer(s) to this may surprise you. Read on!
"Putsy" is a word discovered from Mark's three, three year old grand daughters. It's sassy + an edge of attitude + a lot more. :-)
NOTE: If you are a white male, over 50 and you get upset, defensive, angry about what is shared ... well ... chill out and learn to laugh at yourself or ourselves as a group of people. Our parents, grandparents, and community never taught us to come together as a group and work together. Well ... when I say "us" there was a group of white males which came together in Germany a few years back ... came together and that didn't work out so well for anyone. That aside ... white males most of the time, do not come together so well, especially white males over 50.
If we can't laugh at ourselves and see how we are really no better than anyone else individually or as a group ... well ... if the white male over 50 becomes entitled, produces more than he consumes ... pity the world ... as it's not going to work out well. If the white male over 50 doesn't stand up for what he believes in, what is right and stands up for what is wrong ... well ... that's not going to go well for them, their children, grandchildren and everyone around them. If we as white males are not able to be self aware and how we as a group, have let down in the world, then why would we expect others, other groups of people to do the same?
Oh ... just FYI, this is NOT to bash the white male like others where all the world's problems are due to the white male over 50. If anything ... sadly it seems, it's about the white male over 50 seemingly starting to think like other groups of people and gaming the system often, thinking like others, thinking we are victims, seeing that the world around us is crashing and burning and doing nothing about it.
1. Take Personal Ownership ...
My Uncle Dave (Dave Boersma) taught me the most amazing lesson in taking ownership. He is a white male over 50 and an expert in taking ownership so ... what I learned from him ... I wish I had learned this earlier in life as a white male ... "If something is good, take ownership for it and if something is bad, then blame someone else. Hmmm ... Uncle Dave ... that is what you were trying to teach me ... right? :-)
2. Give people credit ...
When "The Wizard" asked me to write this, I didn't want to do this ... but because he's my best friend, I said I would. Man ... at times ... I hate The Wizard and I feel that The Wizard is the worst person in the world. And ... I just realized in the last year how important my feelings are.
Actually I need to give the real credit to my brother Dan Boersma as our precious time together with him is what created the tipping point for me to accept the responsibility of sharing what The Wizard as shared with me. Thank you Dan! While you may have gained zero benefit from our time together ... you are the one to get the credit for this entire page. THANK YOU!!!
Now ... Dan, just so you don't get a really big head ... you alone are not able to take credit for this as our oldest brother Vern also gets to jump in right beside you and take credit for this as well. Thank you Vern for the massive contribution you have made to this page.
Now ... Dan and Vern, I'm sure you will thank Uncle Dave for helping me to give credit where credit is due. Maybe next time you see him, take him out to dinner and thank him and give him a hug for me as I know that he cares for me ... not as much as Vern and Dan do, but he does care for me a lot.
One thing that is strange about Mark is that he really does believe he's an average to below average person. ~ click here ~ for a peek into Mark's Brian. WARNING: It can be scary. :-)
P.S. Ken, my youngest brother ... I'm thinking that you may not be mentioned as much as Vern and Dan, and I wanted to make sure you felt equally loved. Oh ... my wife Rosanna of 36 years ... she said she did not want to be included ... so obviously I will honor her request and not include her. The think I love about my wife ... who is a white woman over 50 is that she is not like most white woman over 50 ... who are so starved for attention, it seems. She is so very humble and doesn't want the credit like the white male over 50. Hmmm ... how I can honor my wife's humility and give her credit at the same time? Let's see ... how about if like in Harry Potter I give her the name of The Wife Who Shall Not Be Named" or WNN for short. This will achieve the goal of honor and giving her credit at the same time. If others have specific requests feel free to pass those along. I am to be a pleaser.
WM50+ Tip
Some white males over 50 have huge ego challenges. Why?
Well ... many of them have been working their butts off since they were 10 years old and their own wives and children do not seem to value / appreciate them.
Others maybe have invested most of their lives into something they are starting to realize, won't be valued / appreciated after they are gone and they wonder if their lives will be wasted, if they will have no legacy.
WARNING ~ If you do not have a very high sense of humor ... you will not only NOT enjoy this but you will have a high sense of stress and anxiety. If you are like certain groups of people ... who will not be named of course ... and struggle with taking personal ownership you may have an anxiety and/or panic attack. Now ... this could be very serious. Do you have any idea as to how many people die from anxiety / panic attacks? Me neither but with all the fear, about anxiety and panic ... I'm guessing it must be in the millions.
OK ... I also want to be very considerate of those in the technology field who are also white males over 50 ... like my brother Dan and you may feel a bit uncomfortable now ... and WOW ... feeling uncomfortable is a HUGE HUGE HUGE issue. PLEASE ... PLEASE ... PLEASE do not read further!!! It will bring great harm to your mental health.
I would think that a son dying 9 months ago or finding out after 35 years of marriage that your wife was sexually abused by her father for 7+ years ... and a lot of other things ... were kind of big deals but ... I get it ... a white male over 50 who is in technology, him feeling something that is uncomfortable ... well ... that is for sure SO traumatic. Someone just shared with me .. that between 85% and 98% of the couples who have lost a child ... end up in divorce. Those are not good odds. Weird to me ... how being around certain types / groups of people seem to make it harder? Not naming names and won't point out the groups for sure. That may make it uncomfortable for an entire group of people ... which ... well we can't be having whole groups of people feeling uncomfortable.
Jonathan's Song & Life ~ click here ~
Now just to be clear, I realize that not everyone in the technology is like my brother Dan. I also realize that my brother Vern, who is a CPA and who shared so many times how much he cared for me and my family immediately after my sons death ... but after he asked three times, what he could do to help, I mentioned there was something that he could do which would take 5 minutes and he said ... "Mark ... you do not know what's going on in my life." Now ... remember my son 30 year old son, an amazing son, friend and key business partner just committed suicide and my 19 year old son witnessed it. I was taken aback ... my mind raced and wondered what could be so traumatic that it would cause me to drop the grief of my son and all the other pain and focus on my brother Vern.
After a split second ... I gathered my thoughts and asked him ... "Vern ... I'm sorry, what am I not aware of that is going on in your life?" His reply stunned me. I was taken back ... when I heard his reply. He said ... "Mark, I have tax deadlines." It was in that most cool moment that I understood something about white males over 50, or at least one of them, about a CPA, about a devout Christian, at least one of them ... I felt sorry for Vern as I felt sorry for Dan and all the other white Christian males out there who are over 50, WCM50+ as I call them, who did not learn what I learned in my 30's. More on that later.
One of the amazing gifts of losing a son to suicide is truly that, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." :-) Another wonderful gift is that you gain perspective. :-) Dan, do not worry, I do not think of you as emotionally abusing my wife or myself :-) ... to do that you would have to be one, stronger emotionally and two, I would have to be as self centered and self absorbed as you are.
I do feel bad, for the living after someone dies. I feel bad for Vern, Dan and others who are in their groups who maybe ... think of themselves as one thing ... but maybe they are something very very very different?
Vern and Dan, you both are amazing business people and from what I can tell, great husbands and fathers. You both have given me so many wonderful gifts.
Thank you!
How Does One Prevent Self Arrogance?
Watch this video and then internalize it.
How do you prevent a child from pinching other children?
Obviously you try to reason with them, help them to feel the pain of the other child ... but with some children, (not saying those who go into accounting or technology), it seems like they have to be just pinched back.
If we watch this video and we aren't humbled ... well ... that's probably not a good thing.
3. Think as little as possible and then puff that up!
I have to be honest ... I'm a bit ashamed and feel stupid that I didn't realize this before I met with my brother Dan on that amazing Tuesday evening, April 30th, 2021. When I grouped Dan into being in technology and ... well ... kind of thinking that because he had a masters in computer science that maybe because he was smart about one thing ... that he might be smart about well ... a lot of other things.
I can't take credit for that wisdom principle - it was John Henderson who shared that with me many years ago and then Randy Eikermann, who is a CPA and shared that medical doctors call Cessna airplanes "Flying coffins." Dan, did you know that a huge cause of death for medical doctors are their own airplanes? I didn't know that either!
Oh ... I'm guessing that as a technology guy Dan that you either knew that ... or ... if you didn't it wasn't that important to know. :-)
Technology people, especially white males over 50, it seems to me don't think things through so well. Now ... I'm not stupid ... I'm not saying 100% of the white males over 50 who are in technology are like this 100% of the time. NOTE: I have found with people of all ages, all around the world and all genders who are in technology tend to think on "0" and "1" ... you know like computer technology. They struggle with spectrum. Now when they argue with you it's very cute. They tend to love to take things to the extreme to test things ... but when you do the same thing back to them ... well ... they are experts at deflecting.
Are white males over 50 ... insecure? Are they frustrated because they feel they have worked their whole lives, made sacrifices and now their wives and children don't appreciate them? Hmmm interesting right?
Dan and Vern are interesting case studies. When their mother was dying and caring for their father who was dying, it was pointed out that his father was emotionally abusing their mom. But they didn't dig into it, even after they were told that their mom said they didn't care. Is it maybe that they are like a lot of white males in leadership in companies and churches who turn a blind eye to sexually abused victims and ignore the pleas for help?
What's even more interesting is how four years later Dan doesn't even remember the conversation. Hmmm, interesting right? How convenient.
Equally interesting is when Dan was approached about one of his employees, how this young white male was emotionally abusing his wife and his children Dan's standard dropped WAY down. Dan shared how he felt that as long as a man wasn't having a physical affair and he wasn't physically abusing his wife that no one should help a woman or child who are being emotionally abused. Are Dan and many white males over 50 so focused on money or their economic engine that they purposely do not care for their own moms and others in their lives who very well may be emotionally abused as well?
What's even more interesting is that when a young woman, a niece of Dan's, who was in her 20's said something that Dan didn't like he said "It made him feel uncomfortable" with a manipulative tone like, "do not talk about something that Dan feels uncomfortable as that's not right to make Dan feel something he doesn't like to feel". Interesting ... right?
Are all white males over 50 who are in technology ... or business owners, like this 100% of the time? Of course not. Is Dan like this 100% of the time? Of course not.
Is Dan more protective of his own young white male employees than he is of young women and children who are family members? It would seem like there is a lot of evidence that this is true.
Will Dan be like a lot of manipulative people who, when things are brought up, try to flip it to where it's not his issue but other people's issue? Well, there does seem to be that pattern. When it's clear that the evidence is clear to where Dan's own words and actions reveal who he is ... will Dan then shut down and cut that person off? It seems that this is true.
So ... how do you stop white males over 50 who are like this?
Great question. They seem to live on ego and because they have an economic engine they control people around them. They won't allow others to confront them, and those who do, they will cut out of their lives.
What's sad ... is how inflated their egos are and how amazing of a son, brother, husband, father and dad they are. It's like they have never internalized really who they really are and how they are just as messed up as the people around them ... if ... not more.
The advantage they have is they are part of a system which helps them to not care but still look like they do care and have enough money to
4. Act Stupid ... don't take ownership & make everything about you.
I remember a white male who, was an employee who was probably in his late 30's or early 40's and wow ... did Jonathan Mckee have this perfected down to a science. He would act stupid when in fact he was very smart. I asked his ex-wife ... "When you were married to Jonathan did he ever act stupid." She laughed and said he did. I asked her why he would do something like that. She went onto say ... "I asked him that same thing and he said ... "It's so people don't expect much from him."
Now ... just to be clear ... I'm not saying that I could ever replace Dan and Vern as brothers. Where could I learn the things I learn? Now ... from a technology perspective, and a CPA or Accounting perspective I am far better off working with others. Now ... I'm not saying that they don't give good service or that the entire technology and accounting industries are messed up in that even owners in those industries often tend to think like employees and give really bad service and don't care about your business and need validation. I'm not saying that about Vern and Dan or anyone in those industries.
Are there a lot of white males over 50 in those industries? Hmmm ... interesting ... right?
Fortunately in the life changing conversation with Dan, I had so much experience with ... these types of people ... you know ... the ones that seek to make things always about them.
Funny Or Sad Thing ... depending on how you look at it, I guess?
I have talked to a number of people who have had their children die and it's crazy ... how weak people are ... not naming any names for putting people in groups seem to be so emotionally void / bankrupt that they seek to make your loss more about about them.
If you are in a situation where that has happened ... just smile and kind of laugh ... or feel bad about for that person that they aren't able to feel your pain ... because they aren't able to feel their own pain and don't even seem to be self aware of how selfish and self centered they are.
WM50+ Tip
It seems like we as WM50+ aren't the most self aware people in the world?
And ... some it seems are alright with that?
Josh Collins' mother said ...
"You can lead a horse to water ... but you can't make them drink ..."
We have all heard that but she went onto share something I have never heard before which was life changing for me.
"... but, you can put salt in the oats."
What is the salt for each one of us?
5. Mirroring is very powerful in self awareness
Often people misunderstand Mark's intentions. Why? Well ... let's say that we often see in others what is in our own heart. If when you read this ... regardless of your age, gender, ethnicity or anything else where you have been or willingly put yourself in a group, if you get upset ... try to have an out of body experience and figure out why.
He left me speechless. Not so much that he thought this, but that he verbalized it. I thought, "Wow, that's crazy insane!"
We got to Dan's house at 7 pm and by 8 pm ... I was thinking ... "It wouldn't be wrong to leave, would it?"
Soon after that, that's when things started to get really good. :-) So much gold in them there hills. :-)
I think it was maybe around 9:30 pm, wrapping up what I thought to be one of the most amazing conversations in my life ... Dan shared with me ...
"Mark, I got nothing from our conversation. This was of no benefit to me at all."
This was not the first time that Dan had said this to me. I did not have the courage to ask Dan or maybe it's because he walked off, not sure ... "Dan, so who's responsibility is it Dan to get benefit from something. Yours or someone else's?" ... AND ... "So Dan, when Rosanna and I were coming to your home, the last time we were there was four years ago, with Jonathan, his wife and Melissa were you looking for us to bring you something of benefit ... did you have a need that needed to be served."
Mark used to think for decades that everyone around the age of 8 years old had an experience. Now he's not so sure. Does everyone have this experience and some respond while others don't? Or do some never have it?
At the age of 8, Mark was at Camp Fairwood in Wisconsin and something spoke to him and said "Mark, you are an average to below average kid. If you are a good steward of what I give you, you will impact the world". In almost five decades he has never forgotten that.
Mark's Life Vision Is . . .
"To touch the entire world, one person at a time and make a huge difference in everyone's life, in every area of life, in a significant and fun way. Yes, that's 7.6+ Billion people."
Mark's not the sharpest tool in the tool shed. It took Mark over 30 years to figure out how to help every single person in the world to figure out their Life Vision in 20 minutes or less. :-)
Mark Loves this video! It seems like this is what we are being called to do?
“For a long time, I “saw” or thought I saw Mark as a business owner trying to make a living for his family, just like all the rest of us are. I thought his primary goal was the same as most people in the world- to make money so he could support himself and retire at some point to enjoy the fruits of his labor. Then I started to “see” that this was just a reflection of where I MYSELF WAS AT.
I started to SEE that as being only on the superficial exterior. The DEEPER REALITY was and is something that I am completely unfamiliar with and still struggle sometimes to accept- that Mark is coming from a much a different place- a place that is very different than the rest of us. I do not have much access to this place. It is a place with a different conception of SELF. Where real service to mankind is the driving force not concerns with my own life issues. Hard to even imagine what this would mean to me if I were to attempt to live so differently. Much has to done first though before I could even reach the dimension where this could be a reality not just imagination. See, it is not really about making more money, doubling your income or being more successful. I started to catch glimpses of something much, much deeper. Like peering into another dimension for moments. This is what we are really being led to.”
6. When I Think Or Say Something Is True ... It Is!
Mark learned this with his three ... three year old granddaughters when they would say something they believe to be true ... it is true. Not only is it partially true ... but it's a 100% true in their own mind and if you don't agree with them and give into them ... wow ... can they bring on the drama!
Mark does not remember this with any of his four daughters. Now just to be clear he says he doesn't remember this happening when they were three years old ... but ... he's not saying that he has not experienced this as they have become grown women. :-)
Now as a grandfather Mark seems to enjoy when his granddaughters become pusty (think of ... kind of like sassy but include pouting and an attitude). Mark isn't into payback ... this is clear to everyone, so he is not happy to see his daughters, wife or other to see this ... but ... Mark doesn't do so well when it's a white male over 50 who becomes like a 3 year old little girl and thinks that he is the center of the universe.
7. Are you disabled and/or in a car accident and aren't even aware of it?
Great question which we will discuss on Saturday's 8 am (et) mastermind call.
8. How Much Money ... is enough?
Great question which we will discuss on Saturday's 8 am (et) mastermind call.
9. Can you tell how someone treats their wife or children based on how much time they spend at work?
Great question which we will discuss on Saturday's 8 am (et) mastermind call. Now ... just to set it up. Dan ... again a white male over 50 ... who is in technology and has a masters degree and is a Christian says "You know who someone is based on working with them every day."
So ... "You can know if someone is abusing their children or their wife based on working with them?" Hmmm ... interesting ... right? If this was the case ... then you
Dan quickly diverted the topic ... kind of a judo flip of sorts to something else. Hmmm ... that also reminds me of my 3 year old granddaughters and my 6 and 8 year old grandsons. When they don't want to tell the truth, when they are caught in a place which reveals their logic is so flawed and their poor little childlike minds are messed up ... they divert or do one of the other 9 D's To Destruction from the white paper "Why I Choose Not To Succeed." ~ click here ~
Now ... what's really interesting is Dan's view of raising children. Dan said ... "I don't feel that I have responsibility for my children after the age of 18." When asked ... "Dan, do you mean you have 0% responsibility?"
Hmmm ... in my experience it seems like many / most of the people I have met in technology and many CPAs are challenges in taking personal ownership. Hmmm ... would you trust those people you loved and cared for ... with someone where, if they were harmed ... wouldn't take any personal ownership?
10. What Questions Do You Have About WM50+?
Email The Wizard at thewizardslife55@gmail.com and The Wizard or his best friend Mark the answer the question.
Dan, thanks again for the amazing time at your home! While it was a bit painful at times, it was truly a tipping point moment for me with white males over 50. You provided the energy to make it a priority to document what I have seen as a pattern in white males over 50 for many years.
Thank you Dan.
Your Loving Brother ... :-)
It's so cool to have learned over the last couple of years that I can just say something is true and it is ... because I say it is. :-)
Everyone ...
Again ... right ... I said you needed to have a sense of humor to read this. So ... if you thought it was funny then for sure I will take the credit for this amazing page and all that is shared on it.
If ... on the other hand you didn't head the warning at the top ... and you're hurt, have stress, anxiety for sure do not take personal ownership of that for not heading the warning ... just blame my brother Dan. He's a white male, over 50 and in technology so he doesn't care and has no responsibility in bringing this wonderful, life giving gift to you, your family and your loved ones. :-)
All the best!
Mark Boersma
Oh ... Do you have family members who just bug you to no end? My best friend and I were just talking to my side kick, Lou Costabile and he said that he has an uncle who gets along great with family members and Lou asked him his secret. His uncle said ... "Oh Lou, that's easy. I just look at them as being __________________."
I asked Lou if he would be doing a Zoom call with me. He said he would have to think about it. Wow ... those WM50+ ... they do have some challenges in making decisions. Think about it!?!? What's to think about? If The Wizard asks you to do a Zoom call with him ... you do it!
Will I get a new side kick? I might? The only thing that makes Lou one of my favorite white males over 50 is that he is such a dumb ass.
(Sorry moms, dads and devout Christians about the language.) I'm not taking the Lord's name in vain and in the Bible God used an ass to speak to someone who was dumber than an ass, it would seem?
I'm dead serious. For example ... when I tell him he's a dumb ass ... he just gets this trademarked "dumb ass" smile on his face. It's so cute you just want to pinch his cheeks. :-)
The Wizard
11. Can I meet Mark Boersma?
The better question is . . . "Why would you want to?" It's clear that something isn't totally right with him upstairs if you know what we mean. In 2011, Mark discovered The Secret About Time and from that point until today he has an extra 20+ hours of free time a week and takes off one week every month.
At least two of his brothers and probably a number of other of people would say, you do not want to meet him. Best to get to know him BEFORE you meet him for sure. He is on the spectrum or maybe off the spectrum :-) and he will most likely ask "Why are you sharing that?" and then he pauses ... and says "There are 10 reasons why people share things." This simple statement seems to bring out ... well ... a lot in people. :-) ~ click here for the 10 reasons why people talk ~
Of course with all that free time, Mark could meet you . . . but . . . it may not be best for him to meet you personally or even over the phone. Hard to tell? What he and his team have discovered is that often it's best to not meet with Mark directly, but better to meet with someone else.
Again, Mark is a bit strange and even his own three brothers have a hard time hanging with him. One of his brothers said . . . "Mark, it's like when I read one of your emails to the many people you write to, you're going faster than the speed of light, with you're Quantum Thinking, or whatever you call it . . . and it's like I black out."
Once in a small group when they pushed Mark to share his thoughts and Mark said he didn't think they would like to get to know him, but yet continued to press him, until his wife 'The wife who shall not be named' ... Said "Trust him, you do not want to get to know him."
Mark and his wife ... had a moment which will last a lifetime. His wife was not being mean ... or being arrogant on behalf of Mark ... she was just sharing that for their own protection ... it was best that they not go deep and get to know Mark.
Go to the following survey library, complete whichever one of the surveys you are drawn to. Someone from one of the many networks Mark belongs to will reach out to talk with you about the results from your answers. If after you talk with them you would still like to personally talk with Mark, feel free to ask them if they think it would be a good idea to talk with Mark. If they think it's a good idea they will work to do their best to make that happen.
12. What books & movies does Mark like?
Mark realized a number of years ago that so much of how he thinks comes from the books he has read and certain movies he has internalized. Mark also wanted to help his children and grandchildren to also have the ability to think the way he does . . . but . . . realized that they would most likely not read the same books that he did.
He also realized that even if they did, they would not pull away the lesson learned or internalize the things that he did. Mark then went on to create a summary system for the best books and parts of movies that have greatly impacted his life.
If you do decide to meet with Mark and get that opportunity it would be good to bring your own list of books and movies which have changed your life. Even more important than this though if you do meet with Mark is to have people ~ business ~ life questions you are currently seeking answers to. It's actually wild how much Mark can tell about someone, based on the questions they ask.
For Direct Links To Share With Others
Would You Like To Be Overwhelmed . . . In A Great Way Of Course?
We, as a group, are connected to many networks, many types of people,
personally and professionally in all walks of life all around the world.
Powerful Life/Business Networks
- Life GPS- Click for 17 second personality
- Engineered CLARITY - click for Clear Solutions
- Mastermind Seminars - Click for the Next Event
- The Wizard's Life - Click for . . . so much!
Share Us on Social Media